The Impostor Monster

Check on your friends that switched careers; sometimes we need a hug or a pat on the shoulder.

“Everyone you look at and think is killing it wakes up every day hoping this isn’t the day everyone finds out they’re not as good as they appear. Keep pushing.” — Editi Effiong.

It usually starts with a little thought “is this good enough?” And before you know it, you’re staring into space, wondering how you got to where you are and questioning everything you know.

I felt the full wrath of this monster a few weeks ago when I had to work on a Marketing campaign, from fleshing out ideas down to copywriting. I’m not sure why I thought it would take some time to finish this campaign, but somehow I did in less than 48 hours.

And it started.

It was such a crippling feeling. I was staring at a completed project but couldn’t submit it because I felt it wasn’t good enough.

That feeling, the voice in your head that makes you question your achievements, hard work, what you know — that is the impostor monster. And this was my worst episode yet.

Wikipedia defines it as a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud.”

This episode prompted me to have conversations with a few professionals, and here’s what I learned;

• The bad news is you’ll always have this feeling. The good news is you can work on it — don’t dwell on it. Keep it moving.
• There’s a whole lot of people that feel this way. You are not alone.
• Everyone you admire and are looking up to is winging it. No one knows what they’re doing, but somehow they’re doing amazing — that’s because they choose to not give up.

The big question is, “how do you deal with it?”

Understand that you’re not alone

When it hits, it’s easy to think that you’re the only one feeling that way — but that’s not true. The most accomplished people have experienced impostor syndrome — The Nobel laureate Malala Yousafzai, Michelle Obama, Maya Angelou, and us.

Own your achievements

Contrary to what that voice says, you are not a fraud — you’ve kept your head down, done the work, and paid your dues. You belong, your success wasn’t an accident, it wasn’t luck! You did the work.

Self Affirmations

Have you looked in the mirror lately? Who’s that baddie staring back? That’s you? Okay, remind yourself that you matter, you’re important, you’re smart, you make a difference, you’ve got the brains, your dreams are valid, you’re worth that paycheck. Say it until you believe it. And then act it!

Ask for Help/Speak to a friend

You can either ask for help or speak with friends about it. I remember talking to a friend about it, and she said, “why don’t we talk about this more? I’ve experienced this countless times, and this is how I usually navigate it.” When you do this, you get more practical ideas on how to handle it.

Be Confident

Yes, being confident is a choice and you can wake up every day and choose it. Choose confidence and act it until there’s no iota of self doubt left in you.

Have you ever experienced this? How did you deal with it? Please share.